Story Behind the Picture: Cooper Collage

I have a confession to make: there is another woman in my husband's life. How can I sit here and calmly type such a thing, you ask? Because I've known about it for two years and I realize there is really nothing I can do. He's in love. With a car.

Two and a half years ago, Marty decided he just had to have a blue Mini Cooper. The reason? His arduous and lengthy commute to work: the Mini is quite efficient and uses very little gas.

Me: "Of course it uses very little gas: it's a toy car!"
Marty: "I'll pretend I didn't hear that."

So off we went to the Mini dealership for a test drive. Oh, did I mention that I was 8.99 months pregnant at the time of the aforementioned test drive?

Me: staring at impossibly tiny front seat "I'm not going to fit in that car."
Marty: "Of course you will! Just try it!"
Me: "Greenpeace just put me on their latest watch list - I look like Shamu in a dress - no way!"

I made it inside and was able to clear the dashboard with several relaxing nanometers to spare.

Marty: "Hey, if you fit in here now, then image how comfortable you'll be when you're not hu-"
Me: "Not what? Not HUGE?"
Marty: sensing the danger "I love you, honey!"

We bought the Mini. And every Saturday since, my husband disappears to the garage to undertake the same ritual: detailing the car.

Me: "Where have you been for the past three hours?"

Marty: "I noticed a speck of pollen and a fingerprint on the hood of the Mini, so I decided to wash, wax, and detail the entire car inside and out."

I only wish he was as attentive to the other aspects of domestic life as he is to his beloved Mini Cooper.

Marty: "Honey, where are my socks?
Me: "On your feet, darling."
Marty: "Oh - thanks!"

I don't mind sharing him with "the other woman," as I now call her. She's quite fun to drive and you can squeeze into impossibly tiny on-street parking spaces in Philly (Ha! Take that, overcrowded, overpriced parking garages!). She's also quite boxy and cute, perfect for the square format of the vintage viewfinder, so I immortalized her for my husband and boys to enjoy, long after Marty is too old to pull off the driving-a-tiny-blue-car look, and the boys are too tall to fit in the back seat without complaining that their knees are bumping into their chins. Until then, if anyone is looking for Marty on a Saturday, he's probably in the garage with the other woman.

Story Behind the Picture: "Cadillac Collage"

Welcome and thank you for joining me for yet another funny story! This photo to the left is a collage of four images I shot for a wonderful customer in Florida (her boyfriend and my husband share a love of automobiles!). She provided me with a list of cars that her boyfriend loves and I was off on the hunt...

Person at Car Dealership Sales Desk:
"Hello, how may I help you?"
Me:"Hi! I'm a photographer and I'm looking for the blah-blah-blah car - do you have any in stock that I'd be able to photograph?"
Person at Desk: click...dial tone....
Me: "Hello? Is anyone there?"

[repeat above conversation several times]

Then, finally, I found a helpful salesman! He had my Cadillac XLR in stock! Happy dance!

Joe the Salesman: "Uh, yeah, we gotchya Caddy in stock hear at da showroom. When d'ya wanna come in?"
Me: "Right away!"

So I pack up my 30 pounds of gear (including my great-aunt's old Kodac Duaflex viewfinder, which gives these photos a wonderful, grainy quailty) and trundle off to the dealership. There, glowing bright white under the sun-filled skylights of the spotless showroom floor, is my car. A chorus of angels sings, a halo of white light surrounds my 2009 Caddilac XLR, and I unpack my camera bag, eager to begin my work. The chorus comes to an abrupt halt when I recognize the voice of Joe the Salesman.

Joe: "Hiya"
Me: "Hi Joe, thank you so very much for allowing me to come in and-"
Joe [moving closer to car]: "Yeah, yeah, no prob. So do you, like, do this for a livin' or somethin?"
Me: "Well, I'm certainly trying!"
Joe [now standing in front of car]: "So do ya want me to lay across the hood or somethin'?"
Me: stunned silence, mouth open
Joe: "I have a speedo I can wear."
Me: "Erm, gee, Joe, I really appreciate that offer but I think I'd never sell another photograph again."
Chorus of Salesmen in Background: "OOOOOOOH, JOE, she told YOU!"

Luckily for me (and my customer) Joe quickly flees the scene and I'm free to capture the car. Without Joe. Or his speedo. And everyone is happy.

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for next week's story!